As I walk along my chosen path to help people establish the essence of who they are and overcome the effects of bullying to find their true identity, it is necessary for me to continue to place one foot in front of the other on my own odyssey too. 

We are being encouraged all the while in the 21st century to be open-hearted, authentic, honest and true to our nature in our individual quests. It is a courageous route for us all to take because in doing so we are being prompted constantly to embrace and show our vulnerability.

In our own hero's journey, where we triumph over adversity, we expose ourselves in order to build rapport and trust with any person that we wish to work with who recognises their own story of suffering in our sharing too, this is our triumph.

However, the exact same action that we carry out in speaking our truth in order to attract new friends towards us can also invite old foes that might wish to seek out and exploit our defencelessness for their own gain. They might be notable abusers, bullies and other critical influences that we have experienced in our past who continue to try and keep us small or indeed quiet for their own benefit or justification. In sharing our story with the world we have to be ready for this type of scenario too, for if we aren't fully prepared for it, we will continue to absorb, collapse and descend back into the realm of adversity, very quickly. 

Both forces are at work in the universe constantly to help us develop and evolve towards where we need to be as human beings. When we start to bring awareness to all aspects of the situation that we encounter we can start to see the overall divine plan for our lives and the state we need to be in, between triumph and adversity, if we are to keep an even keel within our lives, one of serenity and peace. 

Recently I have chosen to share more of my 'overcoming the effects of bullying to find my true identity' story in order to hopefully connect with other people that might be continuing to experience this situation in their own lives too. I wasn't however prepared for the storm that was about to present itself when my truth started to permeate in the direction of my own immediate family.

Over the past month it has felt like I have been very much walking between the eye of the storm and the tempest that has then come to surround me.

Many people have indeed expressed their admiration in my direction for my very brave account of what it was like for me to grow up within my own home, at school, college and then in the workplace, all within a bullying type environment, when I chose to express myself both through poetry and film as part of Anti-Bullying Week back in November. This is when I felt I was in the eye of the storm and completely in the flow of life, stepping forward on my path. 

Conversely however, completely unknown to myself at the time, my comments were also being received in a very negative, fearful way by some of the people that have been closest to me in my 50 year existence upon the planet. In fact they found my statements to be most shocking and hurtful as their version of events, their own truth, was being perceived quite differently to that of my own. 

Here, the thunder, lightning, downpours of rain and howling gales have been difficult to experience once again. It has been necessary for me to batten down the hatches for a while, an old age survival strategy of mine. However, with all the personal development I have done on myself over the years, together with the support systems I now have in place, both with regards to individuals and communities in my network, I have been able to continue to stride onward towards my goal.

In the past I would have felt totally uprooted by this experience when the hurricane has come to hit, this time around however I have been able to weather the storm and come out the other side perfectly OK, grounded, centred with my roots, trunk and branches all still fully intact, I can still stand tall within the forest. 

This primarily is because I have been far more aware of what has been going on around me when the winds have started to pick up this time around. I have been able to take my share of responsibility within the events that have occurred, I can perhaps see now where other people are coming from and what their angst is all about connected to me and my living situation.

I have been able to accept this scenario for what it is and not tried to change the process that has been instigated, instead I have let the necessary healing start to take place. I have released my attachment to any outcome and let go of any expectation as to what the final result of all this will be, I have just acknowledged that it is all taking us somewhere to where we all need go. Things are a lot better I believe as a consequence because of this change in mindset. 

​At this moment in time I am inspired by the words of Oscar Hammerstein II and his song that he wrote in 1945, 'You'll Never Walk Alone', which also happens to be the anthem to my favourite football club, Liverpool FC. I am choosing to recount all the words here as I believe they bring hope at this time to us all.

You'll Never Walk Alone.

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark

At the end of a storm
There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone

Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone  

Indeed if your story in any way matches my own, you will always have me here in support of yourself in your corner, if you choose to connect with me in this manner. You don't have to walk alone through the storm you are encountering we can do so very much together. 

And as I believed might happen when I originally wrote this blog, all of these events were leading to a place where I could experience the next stage of my personal development journey and gain the maximum amount of learning from it in the new information that was being provided to me from the coach I was working with. 

Indeed as you approach the Visibility Gateway so all of these things will blow up into your face to try and keep you small, back where you have always been, but you need to summon up the courage to step through the storm you are being greeted with in order to find that 'golden sky' and indeed 'the sweet silver song of the lark' beyond because in my experience they do in fact exist when the clouds start to dissipate. 

If you care to comment on this blog with regards to any issues or feelings it brings up for you please feel free to do so below.

One of the paradoxes of my bullying story is that I actually feel somewhat blessed to have been able to live my life in fairly comfortable accommodation throughout. In these places nature has always been at my beck and call and I have felt well looked after, nurtured and nourished, even over-nurtured at times too perhaps.

For sure, I consider myself to have led a privileged life, one where I have perhaps been spared the ravages of reality and an ordinary existence thus far by sheltering within my parental home for a period of time that has far exceeded the perceived norm by others. 

This however has led to its own pitfalls and problems, living within my own comfort zone and also finding envy at every turn from peers, contemporaries and dare I say relatives too. I have come to realise that being privileged or being in a privileged position is not necessarily a privilege.   

The shaman exists on the edge of society, where he or she is able to view community from the periphery, upon the margins. I have always lived on the edge of town. I have felt most at home with clear access to fields, grassland, moorland, woods and shoreline. It is here that one can properly commune with nature and start to see where the social models we live under are failing, or going wrong altogether, and hence the apparent reason for me to want to remain separate from all of that. 

Together with that there is the 'Angry Shaman' archetype that believes because he or she in previous lives would have been looked after as part of the community in one way shape or form, cared for, in exchange for his or her services, that in some way that ought to be happening in the here and now. Instead of which in a modern world things don't exist in that way and a monetary exchange is now required in order for the shaman to remain sustainable him or herself. This can be a difficult thing to get one's head around as a contemporary medicine man.

My living accommodation, rather sadly, has for a long time been viewed by my friends and foes as a place where a great deal of projection can be placed upon it. Projection, as I have come to realise later in life, is just another form of bullying. When it is perceived that things are such a way when in reality they are far from it. 

This is not to disguise actual bullying because this was apparent too throughout all of my upbringing and was first witnessed, outside the family unit, when a betrayal by a so called friend led to more than two years of tyranny from brothers in arms. 

The boy that I had befriended in the early part of secondary school used to come and play with me at my own house, the first parental home that I grew up in. That was before one day I saw his bike not parked outside of my gate but propped up against the wall of a notorious lad across the street. Someone who had perhaps always looked longingly in my direction, festering a degree of envy towards the perceived lifestyle I seemingly led, with two doting, loving parents. 

It is a potent mix when a traitorous friend combines forces with an envious foe, living in such close proximity to my own existence. 

It was the early 80's and one of the most popular programmes on TV at the time for any would be teenager was the Blackadder series. In it, within one of the sketches, Lord Edmund Blackadder asks Baldrick his servent 'Where is the Nutcracker?', of which Baldrick replies saying, 'Oh, it's his day off!'

A fairly innocuous statement one would imagine, one that is pretty funny for most, indeed myself too no doubt when I first heard it and yet it was subsequently used as weapon of destruction towards me to cause me ridicule as to what my family life was like down the road, just because I lived in a slightly bigger, privately owned, detached house compared to my playground buddies council house alternative. 

My father in his own life journey had done very well for himself, working his way up through the ranks of his business, earning 50p a week when he first started with the company right up to being senior partner some 40 years later, working for the same firm all of his salaried life. He was then able to leave the business on his own terms and move into a fairly abundant retirement without any real financial worries. 

On his upward curve through life, taking his family with him, I was able to live in better houses than the majority of my immediate friends. The second house I lived in, was a six bedroom house stood in at least one acre of grounds that included a tennis court within the garden. 

I like to feel, that naturally, I am a person of a generous nature and wish to share my bounty with others. I have a fairly open, honest and authentic streak within me that endeavours to welcome people into my life. I have found also however that in my openness I can leave myself quite vulnerable and exposed to those that are perhaps not fully appreciative of me and my circumstances. 

I have thrown many a party when I have been allowed the space, inviting a number of guests inside my own four walls, some great evenings have been had, cooking fantastic meals, offering wine, women and song. I jest, it wasn't quite like that. 

However in inviting people into my parents residence, in the same way that I was ridiculed for seemingly having a 'Nutcracker' at my service, I was then deemed to live on 'The Blackler Estate' where we had wildebeest and other game from the African Plains running about here, there and everywhere within the Serengeti upon the back lawn. 

Was this innocent jesting one asks? Or was there more poisoned arrows, cloaked within those statements of envy and jealousy? Certainly as they followed the then distant 'Nutcracker' jibes I found them quite hurtful until later in life I was able to bring a whole lot of healing to the issue at hand and realised that my buttons weren't so easily pressed any more.  

In the shadow work that I engaged with through David Richo and his book 'Shadow Dance' I gained enlightenment in the fact that envy just masks the qualities of admiration. A quality that is readily at hand for us to absorb back into ourselves when we take the negative aspect of the shadow and transform it into the positive alternative instead.

The irony now is that I find myself at times envious of others, and have to remind myself or bring myself back to a mode of first attention to realise that this is just admiration and I am capable of living and leading my own life in just the same way that this person is, should I deem that to be the path that I wish to take also. 

So, in short that person is acting as a guide to my higher self and what is possible for me in my own life once I start to put my mind in that direction and take self responsibility for the benefit of all. It is only then that I can start to bring parity to my life and lead a happier existence, free of the cages I otherwise find myself in, it will be the same for you too. 

I cover issues like this in my Transformational Talk sessions as part of the Shamanic Practices that I offer. If you are interested in investigating issues like this yourself I can help you once you click on the links below and we answer The Call To Adventure together as part of my Introduction Services. 

If you care to comment on this blog with regards to any issues or feelings it brings up for you please feel free to do so below.

When walking the fields around my home recently, in the late evening, as the sun has begun to set, under lockdown, I have come across a phenomenon in the sky, that I am not sure everyone is aware of. 

It happens when the sun reaches a certain angle to the Earth where the solar rays are refracted by ice particles contained within the cirrus or cirrocumulus, high clouds of the upper atmosphere. Here a rainbow effect starts to appear with a full halo or partial arc around the sun. 

Seeing this prism effect within the clouds prompted me to revisit a book that has lain idle upon my bookshelf since the time I first read it back in 2017, when I was in the middle of my shamanic training, it is entitled 'Legend Of The Rainbow Warriors'. 

In the book a whole chapter is devoted to the time when this phenomenon, known as the whirling rainbow or sun-bow, is seen on a more regular basis within the skies. It is said to be a herald of a new age that comes with 'the promise of peace among all nations and all people'. 

It is a time where 'the Secret and Sacred Teachings (of the First Nation people) are to be shared with all races. Enough Children of the Earth will be awakened by then to carry the responsibility of the teachings and the healing process will begin in full swing'. 

Some elders say that the sun-bow 'can be understood as a sign to the people of a necessity to live a life in respect and harmony with all the creations that make life possible: plants, animals, waters, minerals, winds and other human beings'. As this starts to happen so the spiritual ideal of the Sacred Hoop begins to be restored to wholeness. This is when people of all the colours of the rainbow, all the four directions of the Earth begin to come together to create lasting peace with all the other inhabitants of the planet. 

Astrologers name this time as the Age Of Aquarius, Buddhists recognise it as Shambhala, Christians the Great Tribulation and 'Legend Of The Rainbow Warriors', believe it or not, refers to it as the Age Of Flowers. 

Steve McFadden, author of the book, writes 'In this prophecy, these people would wear feathers and beads, and communicate with the flowers. The flowers, it is said, would guide them and support them as they walked their life paths. Once you learn to communicate with the flowers, you will be lead from flower to flower to help you eliminate prejudice and hate from your life.'

I was amazed when I reread this book, for I was sure on my first perusal that there was no mention of flowers or flower essences within the prose, and yet it would seem as if this is one of the main features of the book, pointing the way forward to a new way of being in the future. Once more it seems to give an explanation to me of my most recent journey, arguably making sense of my entire life to date.

How could I have missed such valuable information before I wonder? I obviously wasn't ready to receive it then, being in the middle of my course and not yet having been introduced to the significance of the flowers within my true vocation. Only now perhaps when my study is complete does it all start to make sense. 

I believe that the time of the Rainbow Warrior is now, for me at least, as I begin to see the sun-bows in the sky more often. Believing it to be a portent of a time where anyone that cares about nature and loves the creatures of the Earth begins to stand up within society across the globe to create lasting change. 

Maybe the onset of Coronavirus has brought this state of awarenesses to the fore as under lockdown our connection to nature has been heightened. We can but only hope that this is truly the case. 

I will continue as best I can in doing what I am most able to do to cultivate change endeavouring to win over as many hearts and minds as I can with my shamanic and flower essence practice and my poetry too of similar ilk. I'm sure all fellow like minds, other Allies Of Nature are attempting to do the same thing too. 

So let us get prepared to come together, in one large collaborative effort and start to make peace, bringing this world back into balance after Covid - 19 as the prophecies are seemingly urging us to do. It feels like the time to act is now in any case. 

If you care to comment on this blog with regards to any issues or feelings it brings up for you please feel free to do so below.

Once upon a time we all lived as members of the same tribe immersed within nature. If we trace our soul or ancestral families back far enough this is where they ultimately end up, as part of one clan, of the same origin. 

Within that tribe we would have done everything for one another for free. We would have erected our shelter together, hunted and gathered for our food as one, cooked the meals within community and looked after one another's children. We would have met in circle and been able to speak our truth authentically and been listened to with an open heart.

We would have had a close affinity with all that lay around us, a connection with all flora and fauna alike. We would have gone through our respective rites of passage together, all known our purpose and what our individual medicine power was that we brought to the community at large. 

As men and women we would have known what was expected of us within society. We would have been led by a council of elders, grandmothers all acting in the best interests of the planet, making no decision that would harm any child of the next seven generations to come of any species. 

​With the social breakdown that we are now faced with and the amount of suicides that now exist within our community it smacks to me as if we are living in a world gone wrong, of a society that has strayed way off course as to where it is meant to be, we are in effect 'the lost tribe'.

Whether it is men under the age of 45, sport stars that are away from the football pitch or boxing ring or celebrities struggling to deal with the spotlight and its various angles, all are living with anxiety and depression and many are choosing to end their lives prematurely, unsure of the reason why they are here or who they have become. We have lost our connection to our roots, we have strayed far from that which would bring us home to ourselves, we have distanced ourselves from our Earth Mother and are unaware of our own true nature.  

That is why I am choosing to adopt the practices I am now with my fellow shamanic practitioners attempting to bring the old ways back, to arrange to meet people in circle, in nature, or even around a table, just to be able to help people reconnect with something beyond themselves, to relieve some of their mental angst. To form a connection and offer healing, coaching and guidance back to some degree of sanity. 

Speaking from personal experience when I too have got lost upon the path, and experienced my own anxiety and depression which I have done on many occasions, it is only nature that has managed to bring me back to where I have needed to be, my own centre. The nature based practices that I have adopted and managed to amalgamate into my own life have an incredible ability to heal, to start to bring wholeness back to ourselves. To reconnect to something greater than ourselves and then to reboot us.

​A wounded, fragmented soul has no chance of a happy life, it has been adapted, urbanised, made to fit into a culture that is unnatural for it, to conform to an assumed better quality of life in the city, but at some stage in our journey that facade cracks and falls apart because of our lack of connection to the wild around us or even the wild within us. It is only nature that can help to restore any balance.  

So it is proving through scientific research also. A recent study carried out by the Universities of Plymouth, Exeter and Derby along with Natural England too has found that 'physically and psychologically reconnecting with nature can be beneficial for human health and well-being, and at the same time encourages individuals to act in ways which protect the health of the planet.' More details of the study can be found out here.

It is what native people have known all along. It is our task now to step out into nature and begin to come home to ourselves by using various nature based practices. Contact me now to find out how you can best begin to reconnect to nature yourself through the services that I can offer you through Allies Of Nature. 

If you care to comment on this blog with regards to any issues or feelings it brings up for you please feel free to do so below.

I don't know when exactly it was that I first became aware of the true nature of butterflies, possibly when chasing them around the garden at home with my little yellow net, when I was barely able to walk, let alone run, at the age of two. When I felt free. When I was trying to catch the cabbage white, its lime green and black caterpillar having eaten up all of next door's greens. The adult butterfly having emerged from its chrysalis used to flock to our garden resting itself on our dahlia heads or rose bushes in our flower packed beds. ​​

I used to get into all sorts of trouble rushing about trying to catch these dull looking, elusive creatures, a plain white butterfly with the odd black spot on the tips of its wings. I would take swipe after swipe with my ready made trap as I pursued them across open grassland and vegetable patch, doing more damage to the poor flowers and growing harvest than the butterflies themselves had ever done in my attempts to avenge the atrocities their former selves had administered to the plants over the fence. My parents were far from pleased with my antics.

One day, having pulled the wings off my umpteenth leaf and petal pest, suddenly something happened to change all that. A wonderful swallowtail butterfly fluttered over the top of the hedge from below our house and danced magically for a few moments throughout the shrubbery bringing with it a new felt warmth into the garden as if it carried with it the sunlight itself. Its brightly coloured coat of yellow, cyan, magenta and black held me in awe of its own unique identity, shining well beyond mine. I would not wish to capture such a creature but just watch it, let it pitch and glide and wonder at it blissfully, as it made its passage through my life and be thankful for the time it had graced me with its presence. 

In later life I was to learn that this was indeed a rare sight and this experience was well and truly special. Swallowtails are scarce, hardly ever being seen in South West England more commonly being witnessed on the European mainland, although inevitably in decline with habitat loss. Had this one got lost? I wondered. Were they more common at the time? It's hard to believe these days that I actually saw it. Maybe I dreamt it? It certainly left a lasting impression on me. Perhaps it had brought a subliminal message from spirit that I wouldn't truly know the meaning of until experiencing another synchronistic moment like it some 30 years later. This is what I have come to believe in any case. 

I realized instantly from seeing it, that it was high time I put my net down, no longer to be used as a weapon of mass destruction against my fellow creature. I would celebrate the winged one for all it was, even the cabbage white, who in hindsight I thought had done its level best to emerge from its own destructive past into a much higher being. Who was I to condemn it for that? 
​
No, that would be a lesson for me in later life, a teaching about my own ability to transform, one in which I now hope to help others with too, including yourself, in learning what it takes to become a butterfly or a true ally of nature.

If you care to comment on this blog with regards to any issues or feelings it brings up for you please feel free to do so below.

Every morning the shamanic warrior stands with a choice before him or her. To take a risk and live this day in touch with the soul, to thrive, be zingy and full of energy by stepping into the cold shower first thing in the morning, or to remain governed within the comfort zone of the ego, surrounded by the luxury of the everyday and stick with the hot rinse.

For me this past week marks a threshold of 12 months of cold showers. It started on 27th September 2017 and give or take the odd day when it was impossible to have one, and there was no waterfall to use as an alternative, then I have been true to my choice, the decision that has stood before me daily beneath the shower head, to turn the tap to blue rather than red.

The teaching stems from the First Nation people, when the grandmothers of the tribes took their young ones every day of the year to the river, the waterfall or the ocean, to have all the red blood cells race to the surface of the body and invigorate the whole being. When we are immersed beneath the ripples, the spray and the waves, it brings us to first attention and we feel fully present with all life around us.

Today we don't have the rivers and oceans readily at our finger tips when making the commute to work so we have to make a compromise with the cold shower, but the effects can still be the same. Over a period of time we start to build up more healthy, brown, lean fat within ourselves as opposed to the white, fatty fat that otherwise will remain in existence. We blow the cobwebs away from the night or day before and are ready to greet the next 24 hours as if it were our first here on Earth.

The way of the shaman is to choose to be on this edge, to go beyond the norm, because here is where the answers lie to one's life. So with the shower, so with every choice one is faced with in the day long journey as the Earth spins one full rotation dawn to dawn as we endeavour to move closer to our true selves.

The cold shower can be seen as the first step along The Way Of The Warrior. It doesn't have to be this way of course there are other things that you can choose to do to take you into the mystery and soul of your being, through ceremony and ritual in other morning practices or indeed throughout the day, but for the sake of really moving into the now, there is arguably none better than this most obvious option.

Of course we don't have to jump right in, we can start with warm water and switch to cold as we shower, as I have done in the past, but eventually comes the day when you just decide to embrace life more fully and take the plunge straight off.

You will find that once you begin to shake the ego's thought that this isn't such a good idea, that cold actually isn't that cold after all. Water can't go below zero degrees because it would freeze, it will be warmer than what you might first imagine depending on where your shower exists in proximity to nature the length and breadth of the nation.

It has other advantages too, saving you money, using less heat and electric within the household for the benefit of not only your pocket but that of climate change too. 

It is simply the notion of it that we have to get over, realising how strong our ego is that wants to keep us small, protected and well within our comfort zone, unfulfilled, stale and dead.

Once we embrace the concept however, our energy levels start to rise, we are prepared to risk more and live a more fulfilled life, we become more vigorous and begin to thrive. We are then ready for the next choice towards a better life.  

If you care to comment on this blog with regards to any issues or feelings it brings up for you please feel free to do so below.

Part of the reason for a lack of blogs over the past couple of months is due to the fact that I have been engaged in two rather large ceremonies and a whole load of smaller ones too. 

When engaging in the shamanic path regardless of whether you intend to become a shamanic practitioner or not, ceremony, ritual and the ability to create a sacred space for yourself becomes an ever more important everyday aspect of your life. Through this practice you start to establish a relationship with the sacred and dive into the great mystery of all things.

We must not underestimate the power of ceremony. If the right intention is set and space is created, with the utmost integrity, for whatever purpose is going to be performed, then spirit will most likely take note and answer in no uncertain terms if the plea for help is a sincere one.

We are all familiar with ceremonies that are set up to mark the importance of people stepping over new thresholds or transitioning into a new existence through weddings, graduation and the like, in shamanism it is no different. It just seeks to go a little further in creating more ceremonies for more purposes, like for visioning what your life is truly about by way of a Vision Quest, what you want to really leave behind in your life once and for all via a Burial Ceremony or purely to grant forgiveness, give gratitude or release attachment to things through a Fire Ceremony.

When one partakes in these events as I have done in the past few weeks being prepared to go to an extreme in order to do so, you make a pledge to nature and spirit, that becomes very difficult, if not darn impossible to renege on when the answer comes back to you in such crystal clear form as to the promise you have made. There should be no turning back.

If you are to resist however, you know you are going to betray your own spirit, your own soul and potential future well being in the process. Life is urging you forward and ever onward, if you dig your heels in you become stale in your comfort zone and start to die, alternatively you grasp the opportunity, leap forward, go with the flow and start to truly live as if your life depended upon it, because it literally does. 

We are here to live our lives to our fullest potential, it may take us years to release ourselves from the shackles that forever hold us back, it may take us that long to find the ceremony or ceremonies that are finally going to unlock the key to set our spirit's free.

In shamanic practice the tiniest of shamanic healing sessions, merest morning practice or subtlest of fire ceremonies can start to open up this portal for change within us if they are held with the right integrity and intention. That is the driving force behind everything one does as a shamanic practitioner, healer or coach, it is no different in my own daily practice to when I hold space for anyone else, the potential for transformation always exists, we never know when our connection to spirit is really going to kick in.

If you care to comment on this blog with regards to any issues or feelings it brings up for you please feel free to do so below.