What Effect Does The Feminine Eve Archetype Have On Us As Men?
OK so this is a big one for me as it reflects my whole life journey with women in general. I chuckle away to myself, somewhat nervously, for I do not know what writing this post will bring for me today. It is an honest account of what it is to be me on this life long journey of finding a significant other for me, I guess.
These past few days I have re-engaged more whole heartedly again with the dating scene. I have taken Tony Robbins advice and gone about a massive action in my love life to create massive change, I have subscribed to Tinder, as opposed to my normal, more comfortable stomping ground of Spiritual Singles.
At first glance Tinder is an Eden for me, (but more likely a hell), it seems as if it is jammed packed full with seemingly beautiful women, I mean archetypically beautiful women, what society or Hollywood depicts a beautiful woman to be.
Over the past 48 hours I have 'liked' 24 of these Amazonian type goddesses of which ZERO, yes ZERO have replied with a similar like back in my direction.
Of the 10 other women that have initially liked me, 8 I similarly don't find any strong resonance with and have dismissed equally quickly myself and the 2 that I have liked back, albeit appearing to be much younger ladies than myself, have turned out to be scammers i.e. too good to be true ultimately in any case!!
Then somebody else popped up on my radar last night, a different kind of woman, as I put it out to the Universe that ideally I needed a date for this evening in order for me to attend a salsa event in Plymouth, so as not to go along as Billy 'No Mates'.
This woman is not 'unattractive' you understand, as a good male friend of mine would say, but she is more like the mother type I normally end up having a relationship with (Jung's Mary) rather than the beauty (Jung's Eve), the latter being the person I would truly like to be starting a relationship with.
So this weekend, in microcosm, is a reflection of my entire life journey, of all the beauties that I have wished to have in my life that seemingly I can never gain a footing with, and the more maternal types where I find it a lot easier to be myself, as I am ironically not attracted to them (at least at first) and then end up having a relationship with them slightly under sufferance, because of the failed attempts with the Eve character, the person my heart ultimately wants to be with.
When I say, in the same way that Alison Moyet does, that 'I go weak in the presence of beauty' I literally do. I give my power away almost instantly. If I am fortunate enough to chat to such a woman early doors, it isn't too long before the projection I place in her direction starts to rise, putting her on such a pedestal that it then becomes, very sadly, impossible to talk to her. It is tragic!! It is a tragedy, almost of Greek mythology proportions.
Of course in my journey of self development I have realised over a period of time that from a Jungian perspective the beautiful woman is only reflecting back to me the beauty that I fail to see in myself, my own radiant, attractive light, where I take on the form of Narcissus and start to fall in love with myself in the mirror giving myself unconditional love instead of waiting for somebody else outside of me to administer this in my direction.
What I speak of here is one of the flaws of being human, of being a man for sure. Where under such a paradox sometimes heinous acts and crimes are committed because (in part) a man can't get over his obsession with the beauty, he almost becomes possessed by it, temporarily insane in fact. Not seeking to justify any other man's actions of course but perhaps bring a little bit of understanding as to what may have been going on for him at the time.
Like I say I don't know where this post is going to take me, it being a very public post where everyone can read it (my sister included). It is my soul laid bare. I only continue to write because I believe it can be of benefit for others to hear, to witness and for it to resonate somewhat in our collective wounding together.
I feel the need to apologise somewhat for how I have conducted myself on this Earth so far, 51 years in, towards women that I have known and indeed loved. However, I also feel a need to usher a collective apology on behalf of all men, and in particular the toxic masculine aspect of ourselves, for not treating women in a way that they deserve to be, to protect and guard you rather than rape and pillage you. The latter being a fact that I have only realised of late is perhaps more rife within my immediate network of friends than I ever deemed possible before.
I feel I want to say sorry to all the women that I have ever loved but not had the courage to say that I have indeed loved you at various points in my journey, and those opportunities have gone array. I feel the bullying scar that I have carried with me for many years has been left very deep within me and not given me the courage to approach what I have deemed to be a beautiful woman in my life with any confidence, fearing rejection rather than acceptance.
The voyage of unrequited love has been a particularly painful one for me. I have learnt a huge amount about what it is to be able to speak your truth in a timely manner and not wait seven years before attempting to do it to get such a monkey off your back.
It is perhaps easier to see in hindsight that if someone you seemingly love or fall in love with for their beauty, who then subsequently falls for another guy within a couple of weeks of you getting to know her, that she is not really meant for you, especially, if she goes on to marry the other chap. Never mind how much you might try and convince yourself otherwise that it is only happening because you haven't told her your own truth, that you have been too shy to do so, despite all the hints she might have given you along the way that she does in fact like you a little bit or even a lot.
It can have dire consequences in the long term if the subsequent search for the ultimate truth is deemed inappropriate or harassing even when confidence or bravado rises to such a level that an answer must be sought regardless of the consequences, despite how minimal your enquiry might have seemed to yourself, those one or two acts could be viewed totally differently with an alternative lens and a fear filter applied, especially when the authorities are called into action as a result, believing a stalker to be on the loose.
Yep, sorry, looks like I over stepped the mark there. I never meant that to happen, or for that to be deemed the case, that's what temporary insanity does for you I believe.
I wonder if this is why I am finding it difficult to find an Eve archetype for my Orion Reborn Mens Program to help hold space with me, because it continues to play out in my wider story.
If you are a woman who has been a victim to a whole load of projections from men in your life and had to learn to hold your boundary and put us men back in our box, I would love to hear from you as I would dearly love for you to assist me in bringing my course forward with me.
This topic and ones like it I hope will be discussed on the program and a great deal of healing brought to it from both sides of the equation, both the masculine and the feminine if wishing to voyage from the toxic to the divine as I myself am attempting to do now too.
Don't be afraid to reach out in my direction if this has been an issue for you in the past, together we can perhaps heal the wounds and change our collective story for the greater good.
What’s it all about then, this pretty little belle.
That draws me time again, with its intoxicating smell.
Year upon the year, she calls me down the hill.
With such an elegant stem, an amazing indigo thrill.
Here I am accepted, alone with enchanted beauty.
Where pigeons coo softly, squirrels go about their duty.
Deep within the speckled wood, where sun and shade are one.
My inner-sense with me, of peace, of calm, of fun.
So graceful and so innocent, so fantastic yet so bashful.
I come with empty purse, I leave with brimming cash full.
No real price to pay, for time spent with such finery.
The heart is filled with love, fundamental as life’s binary.
Here the pace of life just rests, as unassuming deer stop by.
The sheer presence of which, just makes me want to cry.
For doe and bloom, are both similar and the same.
A dream to be in proximity, of early springtime fame.
There’s no place I’d rather be, than next to one so cute.
Where all the world feels one, beyond all possible refute.
My body sinks below, my pulse now hits ground zero.
If confidence was down, it’s now built up again to hero.
So astonishing it is, to witness such a view.
Of sea, of tributary, everything azure and blue.
I treasure her so much, for just a tiny glimpse.
This April, May occurrence, such majesty, such brilliance.
By Simon Blackler
Copyright © Simon Blackler 2020
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