What Effect Our Outer And Inner Critic Can Have On Our Physical Health.
Many of you may well know by now that I have lived a large portion of my life being bullied, living under the influence of one oppressor or another, in a criticised or controlled environment.
Little did I realise that in subjecting myself to this sustained conditioning, that it could in fact be detrimental to my physical health in the long term, as much as it had contributed to my poor mental health from the outset. This was despite the amount of personal development that I had done over my lifetime to try to counteract it.
Over the past couple of years I have become more aware of a stiffness appearing in my lower limbs, in my forearms and in my shins. I also had a similar feeling appearing in my back which was accompanied, on occasion, by a more nagging pain.
I intuitively diagnosed for myself that what I was feeling was something spiritual in nature. This was most likely induced by a fear based trauma, connected to my bullying story. I felt that if I could only, in one way shape or form, find my way to infusing myself with love, or being able to love myself more, I might be able to shift this deadness within to feel far more lively again. Then I could free myself of this residual cobweb, these sticky silken strands about me, that were still remaining from the chrysalis shell I was trying to get out of, and my former caterpillar life.
There are techniques to shift this type of pain within shamanic practice, trauma and addiction type work, which I can administer to my clients but it can be a far more difficult task to treat oneself, beyond ingesting flower essences, unless you can find another shamanic practitioner or complimentary therapist to help you.
Fortunately for myself spirit seemingly wished to guide me towards experiencing three different therapists in the course of two years who all seem, in combination, to have initiated the shift needed within me, for me to begin to liberate myself.
First of all I visited a lady called Kate Maryon, who synchronistically lives in a house called Walnut Barn. When engaging in her therapy sessions it soon became obvious to me that the symptoms that I was experiencing, all aligned together when I folded myself into the shape of a Walnut! When I cowered myself up into a fetal position the pain in my forearms sat right alongside the pain in my shins. Once more immediately opposite lay a hinge in the small of my back that carried pain also, these were my stress points.
Small is the operative word here I feel. For when we play small and go into our shell throughout our life, subconsciously at some point our soul realises that this doesn't really suit us anymore, even if the ego has depicted this should be a survival technique for us to adopt up to now. We naturally want to be bigger, to unfold, to move from the caterpillar we have always been, to becoming the butterfly we were meant to be. Our Walnut therefore wishes to be cracked open.
Also through Kate's work I came up with a fairly comic, but affectionate name for my inner critic, the aspect of ourselves that wants to keep us small. I nicknamed him 'The Nutcracker'.
This rather poignantly relates to a sketch from the Blackadder series in the 1980's where Lord Edmund Blackadder asks Baldrick, his faithful servant, 'Where is the Nutcracker?' and Baldrick replies to him 'Oh it's his day off!'.
Although we may smirk and laugh at this statement, this program was aired in my early teens, whilst attending secondary school. This was one of the heights of the bullying periods experienced within my life. I lived in a house with my parents across the street from my first obvious foe who existed outside of my own immediate household. Seemingly envious of a loving family and a privately owned house it was put forward that I lived in a stately home, compared to him, with servants, a butler and therefore a 'Nutcracker' that existed in human form that was at my service. I became the butt of all of his and my traitorous friend's jokes.
'The Nutcracker' however when manifesting as the inner critic doesn't aim to crack the hardshell that protects the tasty kernel of goodness that lies within, it just aims to hold it in its grip with a pincer like movement, a vice, that restricts movement of the Walnut to zero.
Over time this creates heavy energy that is absorbed into the body and deep energy work is needed in order to be able to shift this fear based phenomenon into a more dispersive loving feeling.
Some months after Kate's awareness raising sessions and workshops I serendipitously came into contact with another woman called Sarah Jennings and her Visibility Gateway course. I felt I needed to engage in this training because something was holding me back from being the person I really wanted to be. There was a mask, or veil, hiding my true light. Again this was most likely caused by the bullying scenario I had encountered in the past and the critical, controlling behaviour that I was still experiencing in my life.
Sarah uses LEAP Kinesiology in an absolutely amazing fashion that connects us to our meridians, amongst other things, throughout our body. By massaging these sacred spots within our make up, we begin to free up this stuck, fear based energy and start to feel an element of freedom within. The rigid deadness that accompanies our everyday existence begins to loosen, and a tingle of energy connected to our life force starts to shift and shake about us.
This type of therapy began to give me relief, with a feeling that the key was beginning to turn and I was starting to unlock myself.
However on completing her course I still felt that even though the energy was now shifting I hadn't really cracked the Walnut. So, I was eventually steered by spirit into the path of Michaela Williams.
Michaela practices a Superconscious Trance Healing technique by way of her QRISTA Method that when combined with a certain energy frequency meditation track compiled by shamanic practitioner Richard Down really cuts to the chase. In listening to Michaela's recording of the session, not once, or twice, but three times I had the feeling of stiffness within me disappear. I am now 100% better, I am not noticing the stiffness anymore, which I am absolutely thrilled about, as now I feel free to do the work I am meant to be doing on the planet.
When we begin to work with spirit in this way and connect more so with our internal, intuitive guide system we can be led to the practices and practitioners that we need to encounter in order to be able to heal ourselves of the conditioning, bullying and trauma that we have experienced up to present day.
I cannot tell you how liberated I feel now, but I have an incredibly strong spiritual resonance emitting from me as I write this post to you today that would explain to me that actually I am writing about a sacred truth that is coming from deep within me. A special gift that I have to give to the world where I can assist you in finding this spiritual truth for yourself, when you connect with it internally too.
It is only though experiencing these type of practices and wider shamanic healing, flower essences and life coaching or similar complimentary modalities that we can move beyond fear and return to love, transforming our 'Nutcrackers' and 'Walnuts' into nutritious kernels of food for our souls.
If I can't help you myself with my shamanic practice I will refer you to any complimentary therapist I care to recommend for your own healing benefit of which any of these three ladies above come very firmly into that reckoning.
If you care to comment on this blog with regards to any issues or feelings it brings up for you then please feel free to do so below.
Shamanic Healing, Coaching and Guidance From A Distance.
Life under lockdown means that we are being forced to adapt and change, to shift our offerings and what we are able to do with people online and off with social distancing etc. Change however, can be a good thing, and perhaps introduce us to innovative ways of working that actually maybe very good for our businesses and personal development going forward.
It may surprise you to know that all of my Allies Of Nature transformation programs can be adjusted to work in a remote way.
Shamanic healing can operate from a distance. I can set up a mock healing room here in my own house, where you lie prone in your own bedroom at home. I can create sacred space for you with the aid of a candle, feathers and flowers and use them as all part of the session, working on a dummy body as if it were yourself. One space can be placed on top of another in a shamanic way as if I was working on you direct, such is the power of intention. If you are prepared to open yourself up to this way of working, my other clients would tell you that it really does work.
Similarly the talking therapies and coaching consultations that take place within all the packages can all be conducted via Zoom sessions over the internet. We don't have to meet up in person. It will be just like you picking up your remote in front of the TV and selecting the Allies Of Nature channel. Just click on the email link from your laptop or mobile phone and we will be sat there in front of each other.
If we are to consider doing a Medicine Walk or other outdoor activity in nature, it can be carried out in your own time, under remote guidance from myself, or we can perhaps meet in person at a safe distance and carry out the walk or activity together, two meters apart, depending on what is deemed best within the government guidelines at the time and where you are located in the world.
All of my back up exercises, that are completed between sessions can be emailed to you in the same fashion as they would be if we were working one to one in front of each other. Once more all of my flower essences offered in support of your own transformational journey can be posted to you in the same way as they would have been otherwise and we can have the various related conversations online too.
So you see there really is no barrier to working together under lockdown if you need help with overcoming bullying or improving your emotional wellbeing in order to discover your true identity. In fact there maybe no better time to do this with perhaps a little bit more time on your hands, why not use this time constructively.
It doesn't matter if we are working online or off, my former employers and clients would tell you I will always be there for you. I am consistent and reliable. I am both dogged and passionate in my approach to your personal development and I am a bit of a detective too when it comes to uncovering your own truth, there's no real escape believe me to improving your life with me.
I am humorous, witty and a bit of a wordsmith too. I am also in touch with spirit as you might have guessed and I will leave no stone unturned in endeavouring to assist you in your own personal development journey to becoming the best you can be. It really would be great fun to work together and I am quite excited about that opportunity, if you choose to engage with it.
So if you feel half inclined, why not connect with The Call To Adventure introductory session and let us see whereabouts you are on your life plan. Then we can see about possibilities and what needs to happen between us going forward, to start to transform yourself from a caterpillar into a butterfly and lead an altogether more happier life.
When would you like to arrange that appointment do you think? ;-). x
If you care to comment on this blog with regards to any issues or feelings it brings up for you please feel free to do so below.