Last weekend I completed a Shaman's Doorway course with Northern Drum, which is an introduction course that operates as a stepping stone to all of their teachings. 

'Well, what's extraordinary about that Simon?' I hear you say. To be honest, it was actually the second time that I have completed the course with them. Many moons ago, some 9 years and 3 months to be precise, I embarked on somewhat of a baptism of fire onto my shamanic pathway. For in late April 2013 not only did I open myself up to the teachings of Chis Luttichau but that of Mac Macartney too. 

For some strange reason, that only myself and the Universe truly know, I decided to do Embercombe's Journey Program right on the back of my first Shaman's Doorway experience. I literally drove from the completion of Chris' course in Sancreed, Cornwall to Higher Ashton, Devon on the same afternoon, traversing some 120 miles in total, so as to amalgamate seven days of personal development work together. 

I had met Mac some five years previously when I approached him about Authentic Leadership, which I had just learnt about through Neil Crofts. I rather naively thought at the time that this was a fairly new and innovative leadership concept.

I remember walking into Mac's living room the day that we agreed to meet just thinking that I must be a natural shoe in to life at Embercombe, the fact that I knew about Authentic Leadership and Mac practiced it, both were a natural fit for one another as far as I was concerned and an immediate collaboration together was surely the only course of action ahead!

To say that I was a little wet behind the ears was a bit of an understatement I think. Mac tried his best to paint a little more realistic picture of the likely way forward for me given the fact that Authentic Leadership had been around for the best part of two decades as far as he was concerned and he had all the team he needed all around him already. He advised me that a pathway that involved volunteering at Embercombe Friends Weekends from 2008 - 13 was perhaps a better way to start my association with the Valley Of The Fire than what I first envisaged.  

Gathering together my shattered illusions I set out upon that trail instead, and met a huge number of incredible people connected to Embercombe in the process. 

In my early training with Neil, he introduced me to a nature based practice that I later found out, is what First Nation people call, a Medicine Walk. A stroll out into nature that is designed to ask a question of the flora and fauna all around us and then to witness the answer that comes back to us through synchronicity and metaphor. It was an exercise that made my heart sing, as if it was given to me as a tool for me to use for the rest of my life for my own sake and that of others too. 

Having had a taste of this one nature based practice it only whetted my appetite for more. I enquired with all sorts of organisations like Bill Plotkin's Animas Valley Institute and even Embercombe itself to do an apprenticeship in this field. However, it was only through taking a walk with Mac one day on his land that the possibility of engaging with Northern Drum arose. Mac recommended Chris to me as they both shared the same Native American teachers, the Metis people. 

Having both men as guides, utilising both of their strengths and wisdom in order to help me along my own personal path seemed like the way to go for me and hence when the possibility of engaging in both schools of thought within a week presented itself to me I jumped at the chance to engage with it all. 

However, a twist in the story lay up ahead that I wasn't wholly prepared for. It was spelled out to me, in no uncertain fashion, upon The Journey Program itself how much I projected in Mac's direction with my own life purpose, vision and dream.

Being presented with the mirror that I was given to look at myself through came somewhat of a shock to me. I no longer liked the look of what I was seeing and I immediately became very conscious of how I was being and behaving around Mac. I became fearful of my own positive or 'golden' shadow, my own potential. I wasn't living my own full life. 

I began to realise that even though I had embarked on two community builds that year to continue to offer support to Embercombe in the building of The Linhay, which I had pledged to do through its match funding application, I was finding it increasingly difficult to be on the land and remain in the company of the founder of the organisation itself. I had lost the ability to communicate with Mac, man to man, brother to brother. 

I knew I had to step away no matter how much of a wrench it felt like at the time, for how long I was not sure. Part of me wondered if I would ever return. I had to go and find myself as a person in my own way. To really become aware of my own strengths and weaknesses and where I sat on the whole spectrum of masculinity. I had to fully immerse myself within not only a Vision Quest Guardianship Training through Northern Drum but also a longer term Three Year Shamanic Training with them too.

It was only through this experience that I began to find out the man I was destined to be. Through that process I would discover a joy of flowers, of all things, the essences of which would become my ultimate teachers and to whom I had to connect with more deeply to be closer to both the feminine and masculine aspects of myself, to bring myself back into a place of wholeness and balance.

So that was the way of things for a while, as a fully accredited Shamanic and Flower Essence Practitioner trying to build up the Allies Of Nature brand with all of the experiences that I had accumulated in my own life. That was before I started to hear the land of Embercombe whisper to me again on the wind.

Mac, himself, from time to time would pop up on my radar, in one of my dreams perhaps, or there was this course or that program from the Embercombe newsletter that peeked my interest, until that is an opportunity to back row on The Journey Program came in my direction with an unmistakable shout that I just couldn't ignore. My soul was ushering me home and I seemingly just had to attend that September, for reasons I could not fathom. It was such a simple way to re-engage too where all other routes to a return had proven to be far more difficult to negotiate. 

Little did I know on re-entering the gates at the top of the hill as to what the real purpose for my re-engagement was. Apart form bringing a fair degree of peace to my own and Mac's connection I believe, I was soon being presented with an opportunity to have a look at an Embercombe Men's Weekend that was struggling to fill its places. It was an invitation that was being offered to me by our much loved, and now sadly departed, Fiona Barnes. 

I saw a sign upon the Embercombe land that week, or more accurately in the heavens above, that was calling me like no other thing had done before. I had witnessed the constellation of Orion in the sky when exiting the furthest yurt in the West village at 4.00am to take a stroll into the wood. As I looked up to the mythic character above, so a shooting star flashed through that part of the zodiac. It was an omen for sure I thought, of what was to come next in my life, even if I wasn't fully aware of the significance of it at the time. 

In the end it wouldn't seemingly matter that I pitched an alternative Men's Weekend idea to the core team and for this notion to seemingly fall on stoney ground compared to what other people's offers were like of a similar ilk. The die had been cast in my own heart, for my own purpose had been discovered, I had found my true love. 

The Orion Reborn Mens Program had been conceived and although it would still take time to form within the creative womb and be birthed, when it finally came fully out into the light it started to become a project of real gravitas and integrity for me. 

Operating outside of the confines of Embercombe was liberating, soon a new, more aligned venue for the concept would present itself to me to host the program, along with a chef totally onboard with the ethos and then four women began to appear to hold space with me in what I am now calling 'next level' men's work. That is men's work that is to be witnessed by women and not solely to be conducted within a male only environment.  

The myth of Orion has been slowly percolating away within me since last autumn when I first really became aware of it. More fervently it began to come forward after serendipitously visiting the Aboriginal Songlines exhibition in Plymouth in February where I synchronistically bumped into Rachel Fleming of Embercombe too, someone who I had given a complimentary Medicine Walk to when she was the editor of Source Magazine that I believe helped light her own path forward back then.

Orion, in Greek Mythology, is known as 'The Great Hunter', however he is so good at hunting that he brags that he can hunt any species to extinction. Mother Earth doesn't take very kindly to this notion and hence sends a scorpion to poison and thus kill him and so he is then banished to the heavens seemingly forever.

However, a more fuller story according to the Aboriginal Songlines is that Orion was a male figure that pursued 'The Seven Sisters', the seven archetypes of women, across the planet for his own gain, driven by lust and desire, so much so that he ended up taking Merope against her will. Orion is a raper and pillager of the Earth and the deep feminine. This is ultimately a story of toxic masculinity.

This myth is played out upon the heavens nightly as Orion pursues The Seven Sisters, The Pleiades, across the night sky through Taurus as a reminder to us all of the toxic masculinity that is still in existence around the globe today.

When Orion eventually comes back to Earth however and is reincarnated, or reborn, he attempts to avenge the atrocities he has administered in the past by becoming the protector and guardian of the planet instead. He embodies a more divine way of being, to truly honour the deep feminine. He therefore begins to chart the necessary transformational journey that all men have to face today if wishing to bring more alignment to our way of being and happiness back into our hearts. 

As part of my second Shaman's Doorway experience this past weekend I took a Medicine Walk around the lanes of Manaton asking nature the question as to whether I was on the right path with the Orion Reborn Mens Program and how to fill the course for the start date in November. I got presented with a whole smorgasbord of inspiration saying that everything I was currently doing was all as it should be. One of the most notable sightings of which was a thrush that had just recently caught a snail and was in the process of eating it. The tap, tap, tap of the snail shell hitting the road had gathered my attention.

My teacher Chris had told me that if you see any hunter within nature swoop down and catch its prey whilst you are on a Medicine Walk then that normally means that you are right on track to what you are meant to be doing in life and here was such a sign to back up at least three other signs I had seen of a similar nature in previous weeks, with numerous cats and kestrels catching all sorts of mice and shrews. 

The Journey ahead now seems set to me and maybe at last I am beginning to fully embody the pledge I made at the end of the Journey program itself 'to live a sacred life and so help create a sacred body for the Earth, giving a voice to all the inhabitants of the Earth that as yet cannot speak for themselves' and this is my joyful vow.

And so I must continue upon my joyous way in bringing this program more fully into existence for the benefit of one and all honouring the second sacred law of the First Nation people that 'Everything Is First Born Of Woman'. 

I now see my two Shaman Doorway experiences as bookending my journey from caterpillar to butterfly. One allowing me to enter into the wilderness of my chrysalis for the transformation to begin the other to complete that passage of my life where I am able to exit more fully into freedom, to truly fly with all the gifts that I have to offer the world and be in a place of true servitude to both humans and the planet alike. 

So here we have it, the complete 24/7 Allies Of Nature flower essence support system to assist you in whatever personal development program that you choose to invest in with Allies Of Nature, be it The Flower Power Trip, The Butterfly Journey or the Orion Reborn Mens Program. These essences are designed to give you every quality that you require to bring yourself back into wholeness and balance from any controlling, criticising, conditioning, bullying, abusing and traumatising behaviour that you may have experienced in the past.

Ever since the Blackthorn first introduced itself to Simon Blackler back in March 2019, each individual flower in the range has stepped forward at the opportune moment to offer its qualities and message for the benefit of both humans and the planet alike. Indeed when Simon put a call out 12 months ago to search for new allies in order to create some commercial blends out of popular personal bespoke essences that he had created for some of his clients, the likes of Buddleia for August, Clover for October and Ivy for November were soon calling to him from the fields and hedgerows to be included in his range. 

These new flower essences have helped Simon form the blend that has come to assist people that have a tendency to always be pleasing others but not looking after themselves. These people give from a position of lack, hence the flowers that have stepped forward like Buddleia offer replenishment and Clover, abundance. 

Also there has been a blend created to assist in altering sleep patterns, to help bring Equilibrium back into one's life by offering people enough opportunities to rest. Thus a flower like Ivy has presented itself with the quality of vitality. 

It has been the same in 2022 also, where the likes of Gorse, Greater Stitchwort and Meadow Buttercup have gained Simon's attention, when  seeking out suitable flower helpers for his blend that assists people to come into their true power and potency. The Gorse has brought ferocity and the Meadow Buttercup, empowerment. 

With monthly review sessions for the two Flower Essences of the  Month that Simon recommends, there is a constant monitoring of progress that is being made with any particular client. Simon will make people aware where there have been subtle synchronicities at work so people's attention is heightened towards how the flower essences are influencing their healing journey when they take the essences every day and every month of the year. It is only then that the real power of flower essences and how they work can be truly illustrated to someone. 

Why not try them out for yourself under Simon's guidance by engaging in any of the personal development programs mentioned above and start to change your life for the better an essence and a quality at a time. Much love x

Is it time for 'Radical Honesty'? - Are you fed up with all the shit that is going on in the world, all the crappy situations, where we collectively are taking the planet to a place that is all to cock?

Are you exasperated at all the false news, the disinformation, on both sides of the divide? Do you find it hard to negotiate the path ahead because you come across a social media feed from Addis Ababa, Timbuktu or Peaknuckle, Arkansas that claims this or that which is going on in the world and we need to follow this particular route in order to live our life in order to be safe, cowering away from life with fear in our hearts? That's if mainstream media hasn't totally befuddled us also?

Well, I for one believe it is time for change, for 'Radical Honesty'. This starts from within, with me and you, and our ability to speak our truth to ourselves and to one another, within circles or in groups, online or face to face so we can gain an insight into somebody's own authenticity, a handle on their real truth and where they are coming from in life, what their experience has been like in order to gain a true understanding of them as human beings. This is what I aim to give you in any case, with my own authenticity.

You will note in my posts if you study them at length that when I use the word 'I', I am most likely going to be talking about something that I believe, or what is working for me or that I am still processing in my own ongoing healing journey. When I use the term 'we' or 'you' I come from a place more of authority, of knowing it as a fact.

There is a debate at the moment as to which way to go as a facilitator of personal development, where perhaps one should be showing all the credentials of a person totally in control of his or her life by just posting 'we' posts all the time, and that seems as if it maybe coming in my life more in the future, but there is still work to be done on the self too at this present moment in time.

As I continue to post about 'I', I hope to build rapport with people that see me as an authentic coach for them, someone who has experienced things very similar to themselves, if he isn't continuing to do so now too, especially with regards to my fellow brothers and helping them speak out about the troubles we continue to experience, 'coming out' if you will, about being in touch with our more feminine sides, with our emotions, trying to shift our perspectives away from toxic masculinity, no longer following the traditional male archetype but hopefully embracing a new divine way of being in ourselves, more in touch with nature.
​
If you feel you would like to reach out and touch base with my own authenticity so that you can start to bring forward your own then please PM me today. There will be opportunities to speak your truth into circles I am setting up very soon through the Orion Reborn Mens Program. Much love x

As I walk along my chosen path to help people establish the essence of who they are and overcome the effects of bullying to find their true identity, it is necessary for me to continue to place one foot in front of the other on my own odyssey too. 

We are being encouraged all the while in the 21st century to be open-hearted, authentic, honest and true to our nature in our individual quests. It is a courageous route for us all to take because in doing so we are being prompted constantly to embrace and show our vulnerability.

In our own hero's journey, where we triumph over adversity, we expose ourselves in order to build rapport and trust with any person that we wish to work with who recognises their own story of suffering in our sharing too, this is our triumph.

However, the exact same action that we carry out in speaking our truth in order to attract new friends towards us can also invite old foes that might wish to seek out and exploit our defencelessness for their own gain. They might be notable abusers, bullies and other critical influences that we have experienced in our past who continue to try and keep us small or indeed quiet for their own benefit or justification. In sharing our story with the world we have to be ready for this type of scenario too, for if we aren't fully prepared for it, we will continue to absorb, collapse and descend back into the realm of adversity, very quickly. 

Both forces are at work in the universe constantly to help us develop and evolve towards where we need to be as human beings. When we start to bring awareness to all aspects of the situation that we encounter we can start to see the overall divine plan for our lives and the state we need to be in, between triumph and adversity, if we are to keep an even keel within our lives, one of serenity and peace. 

Recently I have chosen to share more of my 'overcoming the effects of bullying to find my true identity' story in order to hopefully connect with other people that might be continuing to experience this situation in their own lives too. I wasn't however prepared for the storm that was about to present itself when my truth started to permeate in the direction of my own immediate family.

Over the past month it has felt like I have been very much walking between the eye of the storm and the tempest that has then come to surround me.

Many people have indeed expressed their admiration in my direction for my very brave account of what it was like for me to grow up within my own home, at school, college and then in the workplace, all within a bullying type environment, when I chose to express myself both through poetry and film as part of Anti-Bullying Week back in November. This is when I felt I was in the eye of the storm and completely in the flow of life, stepping forward on my path. 

Conversely however, completely unknown to myself at the time, my comments were also being received in a very negative, fearful way by some of the people that have been closest to me in my 50 year existence upon the planet. In fact they found my statements to be most shocking and hurtful as their version of events, their own truth, was being perceived quite differently to that of my own. 

Here, the thunder, lightning, downpours of rain and howling gales have been difficult to experience once again. It has been necessary for me to batten down the hatches for a while, an old age survival strategy of mine. However, with all the personal development I have done on myself over the years, together with the support systems I now have in place, both with regards to individuals and communities in my network, I have been able to continue to stride onward towards my goal.

In the past I would have felt totally uprooted by this experience when the hurricane has come to hit, this time around however I have been able to weather the storm and come out the other side perfectly OK, grounded, centred with my roots, trunk and branches all still fully intact, I can still stand tall within the forest. 

This primarily is because I have been far more aware of what has been going on around me when the winds have started to pick up this time around. I have been able to take my share of responsibility within the events that have occurred, I can perhaps see now where other people are coming from and what their angst is all about connected to me and my living situation.

I have been able to accept this scenario for what it is and not tried to change the process that has been instigated, instead I have let the necessary healing start to take place. I have released my attachment to any outcome and let go of any expectation as to what the final result of all this will be, I have just acknowledged that it is all taking us somewhere to where we all need go. Things are a lot better I believe as a consequence because of this change in mindset. 

​At this moment in time I am inspired by the words of Oscar Hammerstein II and his song that he wrote in 1945, 'You'll Never Walk Alone', which also happens to be the anthem to my favourite football club, Liverpool FC. I am choosing to recount all the words here as I believe they bring hope at this time to us all.

You'll Never Walk Alone.

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark

At the end of a storm
There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone

Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone  

Indeed if your story in any way matches my own, you will always have me here in support of yourself in your corner, if you choose to connect with me in this manner. You don't have to walk alone through the storm you are encountering we can do so very much together. 

And as I believed might happen when I originally wrote this blog, all of these events were leading to a place where I could experience the next stage of my personal development journey and gain the maximum amount of learning from it in the new information that was being provided to me from the coach I was working with. 

Indeed as you approach the Visibility Gateway so all of these things will blow up into your face to try and keep you small, back where you have always been, but you need to summon up the courage to step through the storm you are being greeted with in order to find that 'golden sky' and indeed 'the sweet silver song of the lark' because in my experience they do in fact exist when the clouds start to dissipate. 

If you care to comment on this blog with regards to any issues or feelings it brings up for you please feel free to do so below.

One of the paradoxes of my bullying story is that I actually feel somewhat blessed to have been able to live my life in fairly comfortable accommodation throughout. In these places nature has always been at my beck and call and I have felt well looked after, nurtured and nourished, even over-nurtured at times too perhaps.

For sure, I consider myself to have led a privileged life, one where I have been perhaps spared the ravages of reality and an ordinary existence thus far by sheltering within my parental home for a period of time that has far exceeded the perceived norm by others. 

This however has led to its own pitfalls and problems, living within my own comfort zone and also finding envy at every turn from peers, contemporaries and dare I say relatives too. I have come to realise that being privileged or being in a privileged position is not necessarily a privilege.   

The shaman exists on the edge of society, where he or she is able to view community from the periphery, upon the margins. I have always lived on the edge of town. I have felt most at home with clear access to fields, grassland, moorland, woods and shoreline. It is here that one can properly commune with nature and start to see where the social models we live under are failing, or going wrong altogether, and hence the apparent reason for me to want to remain separate from all of that. 

Together with that there is the 'Angry Shaman' archetype that believes because he or she, in previous lives, would have been looked after as part of the community, cared for, in exchange for his or her services, that in some way shape or form that ought to be happening in the here and now today. Instead of which in a modern world things don't exist in that way at all and a monetary exchange is now required in order for the shamanic practitioner to remain sustainable him or herself. This can be a difficult thing to get one's head around as a contemporary medicine man.

My living accommodation, rather sadly, has for a long time been viewed by my friends and foes as a place where a great deal of projection can be placed upon it. Projection, as I have come to realise later in life, is just another form of bullying. When it is perceived that things are such a way when in reality they are far from it. 

This is not to disguise actual bullying because this was apparent too throughout all of my upbringing and was first witnessed, outside the family unit, when a betrayal by a so called friend led to more than two years of tyranny from brothers in arms. 

The boy that I had befriended in the early part of secondary school used to come and play with me at my own house, the first parental home that I grew up in. That was before one day I saw his bike not parked outside of my gate but propped up against the wall of a notorious lad across the street. Someone who had perhaps always looked longingly in my direction, festering a degree of envy towards the perceived lifestyle I seemingly led, with two doting, loving parents. 

It is a potent mix when a traitorous friend combines forces with an envious foe, living in such close proximity to my own existence. 

It was the early 80's and one of the most popular programmes on TV at the time for any would be teenager was the Blackadder series. In it, within one of the sketches, Lord Edmund Blackadder asks Baldrick his servent 'Where is the Nutcracker?', of which Baldrick replies saying, 'Oh, it's his day off!'

A fairly innocuous statement one would imagine, one that is pretty funny for most, indeed myself too no doubt when I first heard it and yet it was subsequently used as weapon of destruction towards me to cause me ridicule as to what my family life was like down the road, just because I lived in a slightly bigger, privately owned, detached house compared to my playground buddy's council house alternative. 

My father in his own life journey had done very well for himself, working his way up through the ranks of his business, earning 50p a week when he first started with the company right up to being senior partner some 40 years later, working for the same firm all of his salaried life. He was then able to leave the business on his own terms and move into a fairly abundant retirement without any real financial worries. 

On his upward curve through life, taking his family with him, I was able to live in better houses than the majority of my immediate friends. The second house I lived in, was a six bedroom house stood in at least one acre of grounds that included a tennis court within the garden. 

I like to feel, that naturally, I am a person of a generous nature and wish to share my bounty with others. I have a fairly open, honest and authentic streak within me that endeavours to welcome people into my life. I have found also however that in my openness I can leave myself quite vulnerable and exposed to those that are perhaps not fully appreciative of me and my circumstances. 

I have thrown many a party when I have been allowed the space, inviting a number of guests inside my own four walls, some great evenings have been had, cooking fantastic meals, offering wine, women and song. I jest, it wasn't quite like that. 

However in inviting people into my parents residence, in the same way that I was ridiculed for seemingly having a 'Nutcracker' at my service, I was then deemed to live on 'The Blackler Estate' where we had wildebeest and other game from the African Plains running about here, there and everywhere within the Serengeti upon the back lawn. 

Was this innocent jesting one asks? Or was there more poisoned arrows, cloaked within those statements of envy and jealousy? Certainly as they followed the then distant 'Nutcracker' jibes I found them quite hurtful, until later in life when I was able to bring a whole lot of healing to the issue at hand and realised that my buttons weren't so easily pressed any more.  

In the shadow work that I engaged with through David Richo and his book 'Shadow Dance' I gained enlightenment in the fact that envy just masks the qualities of admiration. A quality that is readily at hand for us to absorb back into ourselves when we take the negative aspect of the shadow and transform it into the positive alternative instead.

The irony now is that I find myself at times envious of others, and have to remind myself or bring myself back to a mode of first attention to realise that this is just admiration and I am capable of living and leading my own life in just the same way that this person is, should I deem that to be the path that I wish to take also. 

So, in short that person is acting as a guide to my higher self and what is possible for me in my own life once I start to put my mind in that direction and take self responsibility for the benefit of all. It is only then that I can start to bring parity to my life and lead a happier existence, free of the cages I otherwise find myself in, it will be the same for you too. 

I cover issues like this in my Transformational Talk sessions as part of the Shamanic Practices that I offer. If you are interested in investigating issues like this yourself I can help you once you click on the links below and we answer The Call To Adventure together as part of my Introduction Services. 

If you care to comment on this blog with regards to any issues or feelings it brings up for you please feel free to do so below.

Little did Derek Chauvin know when kneeling upon George Floyd's neck what the next 9 minutes would bring for himself, George, the black population, and humanity as a whole, I would imagine.

Racism, is in effect bullying. Bullying of a group of people purely because the colour of their skin is deemed to be somewhat different to what we might experience ourselves. We see the other person as separate from us, where the human connection and commonality between us has been lost.

Maybe the person comes from a separate neighbourhood, a different country, a contrasting part of the world, experiencing a varying culture and set of life circumstances to us. Instead of seeking to understand and begin to know that individual, extending the hand of love towards them, we choose to concentrate on the separateness, the fear and feeling threatened by the other person. We end up punishing them for not being like us. 

I speak from personal experience, my life path is one of being bullied. Ironically experiencing the flip side of the coin, as a privileged white male, certainly within my own peer group, in contrast to other caucasian youths that lived within my own neighbourhood. I was seen to be different. I seemingly had more than others, a bigger house, larger amount of wealth, more loving parents and these guys were envious of my upbringing and lifestyle. 

I actually ended up having a similar experience to George. Years of bullying by my own tyrants, two individuals in particular, led to a pivotal moment, a crescendo, where one of the protagonists placed his arm around my neck, playfully demonstrating to his counterpart of what it would take to strangle somebody.

Unfortunately for him, and for me for that matter also, he pulled his arm a little too tight around my windpipe and I blacked out and fell to the ground. Just like George, I was able to offer up little resistance to what was happening at the time, almost accepting it as the norm. That was, until immediately after the event where I realised the ramifications of what had just happened. Fortunately I was able to get back up onto my own two feet again. On doing so I felt immediately empowered to go and get help to start to bring about some sort of change. 

This I think is what is happening now, the black population is getting back up on its own two feet again on behalf of George and for their own sake too. They have been suppressed for far too long and this is perhaps the moment that has come to trigger a whole race into action and bring about lasting transformation. 

We of course have been living in an unprecedented time of late, the Coronavirus lockdown has placed restrictions on society across the planet like never before. If there has been any feeling of unrest going on behind closed doors then this scenario will only have exacerbated the situation. A pressure cooker of ill feeling could well have been building up in households across nations not necessarily related to racism, just in experiencing what it is to be a human living through this time with our own unsatisfactory set of life circumstances playing out within our own mind. 

Under such a situation it only takes a tiny spark to explode a powder keg of emotion that has been pent up for decades, centuries, millennia even, and rightly so too. It may well prove to be the instance that brings a great deal of things to a head within the world that need to be healed within our own society and then moved on from. 

What the black race will have to do now, if my own circumstances are anything to go by is to seek to make themselves stronger in whatever shape or form is deemed possible, not by way of further conflict, but by way of questioning their oppressors and enquiring into how a more even society can be experienced and parity formed. 

For when I was being bullied, I didn't realise that I was the type of person that could be bullied, or would be bullied. So when one oppressor left, it was only a matter of time before another oppressor arrived because I hadn't done anything to change myself and my own way of being.

I realised I had to change my own behaviour, the way I conversed with people. I needed to find myself, get in touch with my own belief system, be sure of my own abilities, worthiness and purpose, to create a tougher core that was not to be pushed around any more so I was more able to stand my ground. This took many years of investigating and experimentation before the right path, teachings and tenets started to present themselves to me through my own personal development and eventually finding The Shamanic Path. 

If we resort to rebellion at any time and seek to become the oppressors ourselves, to retaliate through more violence, then we are no better than what we have experienced first hand ourselves. Sometimes, I grant, this is a necessary process if our oppressor won't listen to us or is not prepared to enter into a negotiation with us, but ultimately there are only losers in this scenario.  

If we are to follow Dr Eric Berne's Transactional Analysis, where we realise that the only options open to us, by way of communicating with one another, are through being a parent, adult or child, then when we become the oppressor or are the oppressed we are acting out the parent / child scenario. Here we can only bring heartache and pain to our world. Our challenge or invitation is to try and shift that emphasis into the realm of the adult. Here, a more supportive space of enquiry exists in a place of love, not one of fear. Here we can bring peace to ourselves, others, our community and our planet for the benefit of everyone in the future. 

If you care to comment on this blog with regards to any issues or feelings it brings up for you please feel free to do so below.

At 33 I sought counselling for the first time, I discovered that up to that point I had been letting other people rule my life. I had been brow beaten from birth, I had a difficult childhood and was severely bullied at school, this continued right through college and into the workplace.

My default, survival strategy had been to absorb and collapse, making myself as small as possible in order to disappear and go unnoticed. I was a good boy, quiet, timid and shy. I had no voice. 

Consequently, by the time I reached adolescence, I had little confidence when it came to women and it felt impossible to speak to the girls I really liked. I had a lot of shame around my sexuality and I felt emasculated. It took me until the age of 30 before I had any meaningful relationship with a woman and then ended up being with more maternal types that liked me more than I did them.  

Adopting a nodding dog style of communication, giving away my power to others, I also made poor career choices, not right for me. I was creative, and my tutors advised me to follow a textile design route when I really wanted to do graphic design. It took me 9 years to get back to where I wanted to be in the first place. By the time I had been made redundant from my second textile job in 1995 I had lost all faith in the system and decided that I would take responsibility for my own learning and development in the future.

My counsellor showed me an alternative way to live. I received my first tools in order to try and create change in my life and I began to realise the true power of personal development.  

It was more difficult than I first thought however and the Universe needed to intervene to get me back on track. I had a car crash. I came across a farm boy going Mach 3 with his hair on fire in the back lanes of Liskeard and there was nothing I could do but watch him hurtle at 60 mph right towards me. Fortunately I had the foresight to let the handbrake off so my car was able to absorb some of the impact, but it was a write off and I had the effects of whiplash for 2 years afterward.

This was enough to make me think about how I was living my life and whether it was truly rewarding enough for me. I still felt as if I was being bullied, in a way, because I wasn’t being paid well, even within my graphic design career. But then, I didn’t really know my true worth or where I was heading then so how could I expect anyone else to know that either?

In a dark night of the soul moment I reached out to my network and a marketing lady I knew asked me if I was aware of the work of Neil Crofts. He was a life coach, who had written a book called ‘Authentic - How To Make A Living By Being Yourself’. His was the first book I had ever read that spoke to me as if I’d written it myself. He used nature based techniques in his teachings and I took a Medicine Walk with him one day out in nature and discovered that I was to become a spiritual guide. 

I followed him to Majorca to attend a transformation course he was running out there but even before the course had started I encountered a beautiful butterfly in the garden, the like of which I had not seen since my early childhood, a swallowtail. It was a truly magical moment as I glimpsed a reflection of my own identity I thought and I was filled with a spiritual energy like I had never encountered before, an explosion of heat was released from my lower spine right up over my head as if I was being touched by god. I was experiencing a kundalini (spiritual) awakening. This prompted me to become a life coach too. 

As a result, I started to care more about nature and the planet. I joined environmental organisations like the Transition Town Network where I was able to sit in circles and begin to speak my truth. In time I headed up my own initiative and started more formal public speaking. I started to take on a number of coaching clients too and I helped people feel less anxious about their life, increased their confidence, gave them permission to be themselves and helped them establish their own life purpose, my own confidence soared also as a result.

Personally though, I was still struggling to share my heart with those with whom I liked the most. A seven year journey of unrequited love ended in disaster and I rather naively made mistakes with other women too. I had an affair with a coach of mine and a relationship with an ex-client too. Neither ended well even though I never wished either of them anything but love. I realised I had to work on my boundaries!

At this point I began to question my own ability to be a life coach and I withdrew from the profession. I felt as though a rug was being pulled from beneath me and I was devastated. 

I chose to take time out to properly heal. I went to work in a finance department and even followed my passion for sailing for a while. 

Finally, I saved enough money to complete three years of training to become a Shamanic Practitioner with Northern Drum and a one year training to become a qualified Accredited Flower Essence Practitioner with The Chalice Well too.

It feels like I have been blessed, I am thankful for it all, even the bullying! I continue to learn about our true allies of nature; the flora and fauna around us. I have found my masculinity, my true self and my medicine name, ‘Swallowtail.’ 

Best of all, I am now ready to help others to overcome similar issues to that I have encountered myself and I have launched my own flower essence and shamanic practice, Allies Of Nature, which incorporates a range of flower essences too.

I work with my clients, in nature, to help them overcome the effects of bullying to discover their true identity, using nature as an ally to move them from a place of fear to one of love, helping them to live their lives more in harmony with the rest of the planet. 

We engage in transformational conversations and sessions together which take place in all kinds of natural locations: on a hill-top, by a river, at the beach or in a forest. Our natural surroundings help us to go deep and discover the way to heal. 

​The flower essences are here to assist us in that process, proving to be magnificent teachers in their own right bringing their own individual restorative qualities via each flower essence in the range in order to help everyone come back into a state of balance and become the best they can be through improved emotional wellbeing. 

When you’re ready to discover your own true identity and become an ally of nature yourself, I’ll be here to help you with my flower essence and shamanic practice to guide you towards fulfilling your greatest potential.

If you care to comment on this blog with regards to any issues or feelings it brings up for you please feel free to do so below.