What Effect Does The Feminine Eve Archetype Have On Us As Men?
OK so this is a big one for me as it reflects my whole life journey with women in general. I chuckle away to myself, somewhat nervously, for I do not know what writing this post will bring for me today. It is an honest account of what it is to be me on this life long journey of finding a significant other for me, I guess.
These past few days I have re-engaged more whole heartedly again with the dating scene. I have taken Tony Robbins advice and gone about a massive action in my love life to create massive change, I have subscribed to Tinder, as opposed to my normal, more comfortable stomping ground of Spiritual Singles.
At first glance Tinder is an Eden for me, (but more likely a hell), it seems as if it is jammed packed full with seemingly beautiful women, I mean archetypically beautiful women, what society or Hollywood depicts a beautiful woman to be.
Over the past 48 hours I have 'liked' 24 of these Amazonian type goddesses of which ZERO, yes ZERO have replied with a similar like back in my direction.
Of the 10 other women that have initially liked me, 8 I similarly don't find any strong resonance with and have dismissed equally quickly myself and the 2 that I have liked back, albeit appearing to be much younger ladies than myself, have turned out to be scammers i.e. too good to be true ultimately in any case!!
Then somebody else popped up on my radar last night, a different kind of woman, as I put it out to the Universe that ideally I needed a date for this evening in order for me to attend a salsa event in Plymouth, so as not to go along as Billy 'No Mates'.
This woman is not 'unattractive' you understand, as a good male friend of mine would say, but she is more like the mother type I normally end up having a relationship with (Jung's Mary) rather than the beauty (Jung's Eve), the latter being the person I would truly like to be starting a relationship with.
So this weekend, in microcosm, is a reflection of my entire life journey, of all the beauties that I have wished to have in my life that seemingly I can never gain a footing with, and the more maternal types where I find it a lot easier to be myself, as I am ironically not attracted to them (at least at first) and then end up having a relationship with them slightly under sufferance, because of the failed attempts with the Eve character, the person my heart ultimately wants to be with.
When I say, in the same way that Alison Moyet does, that 'I go weak in the presence of beauty' I literally do. I give my power away almost instantly. If I am fortunate enough to chat to such a woman early doors, it isn't too long before the projection I place in her direction starts to rise, putting her on such a pedestal that it then becomes, very sadly, impossible to talk to her. It is tragic!! It is a tragedy, almost of Greek mythology proportions.
Of course in my journey of self development I have realised over a period of time that from a Jungian perspective the beautiful woman is only reflecting back to me the beauty that I fail to see in myself, my own radiant, attractive light, where I take on the form of Narcissus and start to fall in love with myself in the mirror giving myself unconditional love instead of waiting for somebody else outside of me to administer this in my direction.
What I speak of here is one of the flaws of being human, of being a man for sure. Where under such a paradox sometimes heinous acts and crimes are committed because (in part) a man can't get over his obsession with the beauty, he almost becomes possessed by it, temporarily insane in fact. Not seeking to justify any other man's actions of course but perhaps bring a little bit of understanding as to what may have been going on for him at the time.
Like I say I don't know where this post is going to take me, it being a very public post where everyone can read it (my sister included). It is my soul laid bare. I only continue to write because I believe it can be of benefit for others to hear, to witness and for it to resonate somewhat in our collective wounding together.
I feel the need to apologise somewhat for how I have conducted myself on this Earth so far, 51 years in, towards women that I have known and indeed loved. However, I also feel a need to usher a collective apology on behalf of all men, and in particular the toxic masculine aspect of ourselves, for not treating women in a way that they deserve to be, to protect and guard you rather than rape and pillage you. The latter being a fact that I have only realised of late is perhaps more rife within my immediate network of friends than I ever deemed possible before.
I feel I want to say sorry to all the women that I have ever loved but not had the courage to say that I have indeed loved you at various points in my journey, and those opportunities have gone array. I feel the bullying scar that I have carried with me for many years has been left very deep within me and not given me the courage to approach what I have deemed to be a beautiful woman in my life with any confidence, fearing rejection rather than acceptance.
The voyage of unrequited love has been a particularly painful one for me. I have learnt a huge amount about what it is to be able to speak your truth in a timely manner and not wait seven years before attempting to do it to get such a monkey off your back.
It is perhaps easier to see in hindsight that if someone you seemingly love or fall in love with for their beauty, who then subsequently falls for another guy within a couple of weeks of you getting to know her, that she is not really meant for you, especially, if she goes on to marry the other chap. Never mind how much you might try and convince yourself otherwise that it is only happening because you haven't told her your own truth, that you have been too shy to do so, despite all the hints she might have given you along the way that she does in fact like you a little bit or even a lot.
It can have dire consequences in the long term if the subsequent search for the ultimate truth is deemed inappropriate or harassing even when confidence or bravado rises to such a level that an answer must be sought regardless of the consequences, despite how minimal your enquiry might have seemed to yourself, those one or two acts could be viewed totally differently with an alternative lens and a fear filter applied, especially when the authorities are called into action as a result, believing a stalker to be on the loose.
Yep, sorry, looks like I over stepped the mark there. I never meant that to happen, or for that to be deemed the case, that's what temporary insanity does for you I believe.
I wonder if this is why I am finding it difficult to find an Eve archetype for my Orion Reborn Mens Program to help hold space with me, because it continues to play out in my wider story.
If you are a woman who has been a victim to a whole load of projections from men in your life and had to learn to hold your boundary and put us men back in our box, I would love to hear from you as I would dearly love for you to assist me in bringing my course forward with me.
This topic and ones like it I hope will be discussed on the program and a great deal of healing brought to it from both sides of the equation, both the masculine and the feminine if wishing to voyage from the toxic to the divine as I myself am attempting to do now too.
Don't be afraid to reach out in my direction if this has been an issue for you in the past, together we can perhaps heal the wounds and change our collective story for the greater good.
Is It Time To Speak The Truth, The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth?
Is it time for 'Radical Honesty'? - Are you fed up with all the shit that is going on in the world, all the crappy situations, where we collectively are taking the planet to a place that is all to cock?
Are you exasperated at all the false news, the disinformation, on both sides of the divide? Do you find it hard to negotiate the path ahead because you come across a social media feed from Addis Ababa, Timbuktu or Peaknuckle, Arkansas that claims this or that which is going on in the world and we need to follow this particular route in order to live our life in order to be safe, cowering away from life with fear in our hearts? That's if mainstream media hasn't totally befuddled us also?
Well, I for one believe it is time for change, for 'Radical Honesty'. This starts from within, with me and you, and our ability to speak our truth to ourselves and to one another, within circles or in groups, online or face to face so we can gain an insight into somebody's own authenticity, a handle on their real truth and where they are coming from in life, what their experience has been like in order to gain a true understanding of them as human beings. This is what I aim to give you in any case, with my own authenticity.
You will note in my posts if you study them at length that when I use the word 'I', I am most likely going to be talking about something that I believe, or what is working for me or that I am still processing in my own ongoing healing journey. When I use the term 'we' or 'you' I come from a place more of authority, of knowing it as a fact.
There is a debate at the moment as to which way to go as a facilitator of personal development, where perhaps one should be showing all the credentials of a person totally in control of his or her life by just posting 'we' posts all the time, and that seems as if it maybe coming in my life more in the future, but there is still work to be done on the self too at this present moment in time.
As I continue to post about 'I', I hope to build rapport with people that see me as an authentic coach for them, someone who has experienced things very similar to themselves, if he isn't continuing to do so now too, especially with regards to my fellow brothers and helping them speak out about the troubles we continue to experience, 'coming out' if you will, about being in touch with our more feminine sides, with our emotions, trying to shift our perspectives away from toxic masculinity, no longer following the traditional male archetype but hopefully embracing a new divine way of being in ourselves, more in touch with nature.
If you feel you would like to reach out and touch base with my own authenticity so that you can start to bring forward your own then please PM me today. There will be opportunities to speak your truth into circles I am setting up very soon through the Orion Reborn Mens Program. Much love x
Living In An Open-Hearted Way Can Bring Both Sunshine And Showers
As I walk along my chosen path to help people establish the essence of who they are and overcome the effects of bullying to find their true identity, it is necessary for me to continue to place one foot in front of the other on my own odyssey too.
We are being encouraged all the while in the 21st century to be open-hearted, authentic, honest and true to our nature in our individual quests. It is a courageous route for us all to take because in doing so we are being prompted constantly to embrace and show our vulnerability.
In our own hero's journey, where we triumph over adversity, we expose ourselves in order to build rapport and trust with any person that we wish to work with who recognises their own story of suffering in our sharing too, this is our triumph.
However, the exact same action that we carry out in speaking our truth in order to attract new friends towards us can also invite old foes that might wish to seek out and exploit our defencelessness for their own gain. They might be notable abusers, bullies and other critical influences that we have experienced in our past who continue to try and keep us small or indeed quiet for their own benefit or justification. In sharing our story with the world we have to be ready for this type of scenario too, for if we aren't fully prepared for it, we will continue to absorb, collapse and descend back into the realm of adversity, very quickly.
Both forces are at work in the universe constantly to help us develop and evolve towards where we need to be as human beings. When we start to bring awareness to all aspects of the situation that we encounter we can start to see the overall divine plan for our lives and the state we need to be in, between triumph and adversity, if we are to keep an even keel within our lives, one of serenity and peace.
Recently I have chosen to share more of my 'overcoming the effects of bullying to find my true identity' story in order to hopefully connect with other people that might be continuing to experience this situation in their own lives too. I wasn't however prepared for the storm that was about to present itself when my truth started to permeate in the direction of my own immediate family.
Over the past month it has felt like I have been very much walking between the eye of the storm and the tempest that has then come to surround me.
Many people have indeed expressed their admiration in my direction for my very brave account of what it was like for me to grow up within my own home, at school, college and then in the workplace, all within a bullying type environment, when I chose to express myself both through poetry and film as part of Anti-Bullying Week back in November. This is when I felt I was in the eye of the storm and completely in the flow of life, stepping forward on my path.
Conversely however, completely unknown to myself at the time, my comments were also being received in a very negative, fearful way by some of the people that have been closest to me in my 50 year existence upon the planet. In fact they found my statements to be most shocking and hurtful as their version of events, their own truth, was being perceived quite differently to that of my own.
Here, the thunder, lightning, downpours of rain and howling gales have been difficult to experience once again. It has been necessary for me to batten down the hatches for a while, an old age survival strategy of mine. However, with all the personal development I have done on myself over the years, together with the support systems I now have in place, both with regards to individuals and communities in my network, I have been able to continue to stride onward towards my goal.
In the past I would have felt totally uprooted by this experience when the hurricane has come to hit, this time around however I have been able to weather the storm and come out the other side perfectly OK, grounded, centred with my roots, trunk and branches all still fully intact, I can still stand tall within the forest.
This primarily is because I have been far more aware of what has been going on around me when the winds have started to pick up this time around. I have been able to take my share of responsibility within the events that have occurred, I can perhaps see now where other people are coming from and what their angst is all about connected to me and my living situation.
I have been able to accept this scenario for what it is and not tried to change the process that has been instigated, instead I have let the necessary healing start to take place. I have released my attachment to any outcome and let go of any expectation as to what the final result of all this will be, I have just acknowledged that it is all taking us somewhere to where we all need go. Things are a lot better I believe as a consequence because of this change in mindset.
At this moment in time I am inspired by the words of Oscar Hammerstein II and his song that he wrote in 1945, 'You'll Never Walk Alone', which also happens to be the anthem to my favourite football club, Liverpool FC. I am choosing to recount all the words here as I believe they bring hope at this time to us all.
You'll Never Walk Alone.
When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of a storm
There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark
Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone
Indeed if your story in any way matches my own, you will always have me here in support of yourself in your corner, if you choose to connect with me in this manner. You don't have to walk alone through the storm you are encountering we can do so very much together.
And as I believed might happen when I originally wrote this blog, all of these events were leading to a place where I could experience the next stage of my personal development journey and gain the maximum amount of learning from it in the new information that was being provided to me from the coach I was working with.
Indeed as you approach the Visibility Gateway so all of these things will blow up into your face to try and keep you small, back where you have always been, but you need to summon up the courage to step through the storm you are being greeted with in order to find that 'golden sky' and indeed 'the sweet silver song of the lark' because in my experience they do in fact exist when the clouds start to dissipate.
If you care to comment on this blog with regards to any issues or feelings it brings up for you please feel free to do so below.